The Struggle Of Coping With Mom Guilt After Having Another Baby
I know I am not the only mom of multiples who has dealt with this feeling. We have only been home for a few days with Baby Brown in tow. After some complications, we are so happy to be home but now the reality of this life change is setting in.
The Struggle is REAL
I’m starting to ask myself am I doing enough. Enough to include my two oldest kids as I try to figure out this new life as a family of five. On the surface, everything is going as planned. One day at a time, we are slowly developing a routine. However, I look at M and C and to me, they look like they had to grow up overnight.
I feel like I have cut them short on their time with me. M has been on a 10 and seems happy, but her little attitude is starting to show up more and more each day. So, I find myself asking …
Am I spending enough time with HER?
Just by thinking of this I get emotional. I’m having serious mom guilt. Yes, she is happy to have a little sister, but does SHE feel like I still love her too? Does SHE feel like I am spending enough time with her? I don’t have the answers yet, but I sure hope she does.
In the beginning, it was C that I was the most worried about because he was the one that was the LEAST excited about all this new baby business. To my surprise, he has been the one that just has to hold her and thinks she is the cutest thing ever. Of course, I still find myself wondering the same thing …
Am I spending enough time with HIM?
Again, I get all worked up and emotional at the thought that maybe I am NOT spending enough time with him. Yall, this “mom guilt” is real. Some days, I feel like I am being unreasonable when M & C act out and I raise my voice. I have mom guilt when they get upset about the things they should be doing but instead, they want to rebel and I have to correct them.
I am withholding the tears as I write this post because I don’t want them to feel like I don’t love them anymore.
Most people will say to give yourself some grace.
To give myself grace will probably be the biggest challenge I will face in this new chapter in my life. Keeping this feeling of mom guilt at bay will be hard, not impossible, but hard.
Mom-friends of multiples: How do you cope and deal with the challenges that mom guilt brings? I know to encourage, include, and reinforce how much I love and care about them … but is it enough?
Will this feeling ever go away?
Please let me know your thoughts and share your experiences so that I can find a little peace with coping with mom guilt.
Pregnancy: Baby Brown Vlog Update-Third Trimester
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2 Comments on The Struggle Of Coping With Mom Guilt After Having Another Baby
I think our kids will always feel like we favor one over the other. Only if they have multiple children of their own will they understand that we have to raise each of our children differently according to their stage of life and personality. I have realized this as our kids have gotten older, but also wonder if they know how much I love them both. I’ve been more intentional with showing them affection, talking WITH them every day and having our own conversations. I can tell they appreciate private conversations (especially when I kick the other one out the room, lol) and focus on just them and what they are going through at that time. It’ll be a constant balancing act, but all they really want is their own time with you. That, alone, will allow THEM to extend their grace to you. You’ve got this, Mama!
I would have to agree. Our one-on-one time together means so much to them and to me. I can always tell how much they appreciate the attention. Especially being a mom that wears MANY hats. Thanks so much for sharing your experience and advice with me. 🙂