Podcast: EP 004: 7 Ways To Avoid the Silent Killer: Self-Doubt
7 Ways to Avoid the Silent Killer: Self-Doubt
Self-doubt is one of the major obstacles to living the life you truly deserve.
[00:00:05] Do you find yourself doubting your abilities, doubting the goals that you have set in place for yourself? Do you struggle with self-doubt? I sure do. I do. I struggle with self-doubt on a daily basis. Actually before this podcast was even a thought in my head. I struggled with self-doubt. I struggled with the fact of having to face putting something out there that’s so personal, that’s so open and it’s something that I normally don’t do.
[00:00:41] And self-doubt started to rear its ugly head, saying Tiffany, who is going to listen to that? Nobody wants to listen to that, but I know and I deep within my soul within my gut that what I’m going to be offering with this podcast is so is so much bigger than me.
[00:01:52] All right so let’s get into this show. Thank you so much you guys. First off for tuning in downloading today’s show on the P word podcast and our topic today is going to be Seven Ways to Avoid the Silent Killer. It’s called self-doubt. I know we’ve all been there. I’m there probably every day, about something it could be anything small minute they probably really doesn’t matter. But I always find myself falling into that trap of self-doubt and I know I’m not the only one. I know that I have conversations with a lot of different people and relationships that I have that deal with it as well. So I thought I’d be a great topic to discuss on today’s show self-doubt is one of the major obstacles to living the life you truly deserve. So we need to overcome self-doubt, self-doubt is a silent killer. It is something that people struggle with internally is something that people may not come out up front and say hey you know what. I’m not really feeling myself today. I don’t like this. I don’t look pretty. I don’t feel good. Instead, we put on that perfect face of everything is fine and dandy and it’s not self-doubt stops you from achieving your goals.
[00:03:07] So don’t let it do it to you know that when you achieve your goals you inspire other people to achieve their goals too. Now, this is so very true. I have had people come up to me who in conversation may enjoy some of the content that I produce or the videos that I produce and they tell me that they’re inspired by what I’m producing and putting out there and that’s so humbling to me because a lot of times we think what we know or what we’re familiar with. That may seem like to us a common sense or oh it’s something I do it’s no big deal that there’s somebody out there who doesn’t know and we are the vessels of inspiration. A lot of times for other people for other people to try things that normally they wouldn’t try because we suggested it or it’s something that we like. So know that when you achieve your goals you inspire other people to achieve their goals too.
[00:04:03] When you overcome self-doubt you’ll love yourself for it and the world will love you for it as well.
[00:04:09] So instead of telling yourself I really really really want this but I can’t get it I want it if only for this if only for that if maybe I just had this or maybe I just had that. And things would be better.
[00:04:22] Yall, All this is doubt. Doubt, doubt, doubt. So when you’re trying to achieve a goal a lot of times this is when doubt will rear its ugly little head. It will start to get in your head and start to tell you different things you start to listen to those little voices and it’s time to let go of all that because self-doubt is a killer.
[00:04:43] And when it comes to what we’re trying to do and creating these goals and fulfilling them it seems like it always step in the right time especially when you’re really close to doing something that you’ve been wanting to do for a very long time. For me, my personal story would be this podcast. I started out with a podcast a couple of years ago thinking I was going to do it. You know I think it would be fun.
[00:05:11] Not really understanding that it wouldn’t have a purpose for me, therefore, it wasn’t as fulfilling for me to complete it to finish it and to move forward with it and here I am again coming full circle and doubt creeps in. Doubt was creeping in prior to launching the first episode. Honestly, you guys, I was terrified of even telling people about the podcast. Although I knew that it would be very beneficial and I firmly believe in my heart and soul that the content and the interviews and the expert advice that we’re going to have on the show is going to be great. But I doubt myself I doubt myself a lot more so than I really should. And it was funny I was having a conversation with my sister and she had posted the podcast launch picture on her profile and she was getting some DM’s she was saying and she was asking people what they thought about the show and I immediately told her I was I don’t want to hear I don’t hear it because if I hear it then I think really bad.
[00:06:09] And I don’t want to think that people don’t want the show and I don’t want to start doubting myself and what I’m doing because I really feel like I’m on a good path here and she’s like, Tiff, chill out like it was all good stuff and it’s just like I just started laughing because I’m like I’m really hard on myself you guys and I doubt a lot of things I do when I know what my soul is something that I really love is something I want to do.
[00:06:31] So just a funny story of how just that quick self-doubt stepped in it was like oh she was she is about to tell you she didn’t tell you things that they don’t like the show and I was starting to think immediately well maybe I shouldn’t do this.
[00:06:44] Maybe I should move forward with this and I’m glad she told me to take a chill pill and listen to what she actually had to say before jumping to any kind of conclusions.
[00:06:54] So we all want to be successful and we all want to feel fulfilled in life and we have goals that we want to achieve but sometimes we feel that maybe we’re too small or we’re not as experienced to actually go after them. Then there are those who unconsciously doubt themselves now you know where before the words even leave your mouth even process through your brain all the way you’re already doubting yourself. So they don’t even dare to step outside the box and think big because they believe that the top is not for them or since it has never been done before.
[00:07:32] Why should I be the first person to do it in that kind of goes hand in hand with finding your niche you know a lot of times people have trouble finding my niche I’m having a hard time figuring out what it is that I want to do and they may think because someone else is doing already that there’s not a fit for them. But that’s not true. We all have our own purpose and nobody’s going to do it the same way that you do it.
[00:07:53] So you have to ask yourself you know which boat did you fall in.
[00:07:58] Do you fall into the boat where you unconsciously doubt yourself? or do you fall into the boat where you just flat out doubt yourself? and I think I’m a little bit of both.
[00:08:10] So I don’t think I just put myself in one group I think I’m a little bit of both. So I wanted to give you seven ways to avoid the silent killer of self-doubt. This is hands down my number one. You guys stop thinking too hard. Stop thinking too hard. I over analyze. I am considered an A-type personality. I love numbers. I love analyzation I love like analyzing a lot of different things and. honestly, it is really not as serious as it may seem.
[00:08:45] Seriously guys I think of Instastories for example, I overthink Instastories.
[00:08:52] Yeah I overthink so much just self-doubt creeps in and I decide not to post anything only on Instastories when it’s supposed to be a fun exciting engaging app. I over analyze it. I overthink it and therefore I don’t post to it like I should.
[00:09:07] I know of Crazy I’m crazy I know number one.
[00:09:10] Stop thinking too hard you guys it is really not as serious as it may seem because our mind creates scenarios and problems that nine times out of ten aren’t really reality. They’re not really there, and they don’t even exist. So save yourself the stress and don’t think too hard before taking action.
[00:09:29] Number two is a big one guys. It’s a big one is to let go of fear if fear has kept you silent.
[00:09:41] Then it’s time for you to let it go and speak up. We all have a voice. We all have a purpose in life. So people are really waiting to hear your voice because your story matters and you can impact so many people your story can impact so many people and I know I have plenty of stories and nobody knows anything about.
[00:10:06] But it’s very important that we realize the stories our experiences have made us who we are.
[00:10:16] And because of those stories and sharing those stories with other people, we never know how it may help them. So if you have a story you feeling your spirit and your gut that you should say something and you should share it then share it. Don’t hold it in because that story may inspire the next person the next generation whatever. But it’s going to impact someone.
[00:10:40] So let go of the fear let go. People want to hear your voice because your story matters and you can impact so many people don’t let fear hold you back from becoming the best version of yourself because you guys it’s not worth it. Don’t let fear steal your joy.
[00:11:00] Don’t let fear steal your joy because it will snatch it straight up just like it can snatch the edges off the side of your head.
[00:11:09] It will snatch up. OK so don’t let that happen.
[00:11:13] Number three, everything is a process right. It’s no different when it comes to greatness. Greatness is a process.
[00:11:26] Now self-doubt can arise when you feel like when you’re not where you want to be in life at that very moment. I know I’m not necessarily where I want to be in life I envision my life differently in many occasions but I’m learning to accept my journey to walk my path because I know eventually, I’ll get to that point. I want you to understand one thing that no great person made it there overnight. Now you have heard overnight success stories now with the influx of social media and videos going viral and the next thing you know you’re on the Today show talking but you know this that’s not often so.
[00:12:08] I guarantee you if you put in the work you will see the desired change that you’re looking for. But if you sit around and allow your doubt to rule your life you will never move forward progress is the goal.
[00:12:23] So let’s not remain stagnant. We cannot remain stagnant we have to keep pushing. Number four everybody doesn’t need to know what you have going on. Everybody doesn’t need to know what your plans are. So stop letting people in on your secrets and your plans.
[00:12:43] Now if you talk to people that you know that are very negative why in the heck would you tell them your plans your ambitions your goals. You don’t want to do that you want to tell your dreams only to the people that will feed into it not swallow it up and make you feel bad for dreaming about it. Or aspiring to be better or aspiring to do better. You know you don’t want to share that with them because they’re not going to feed into you the way that you will need them to. So you want to choose your crowd very wisely and only hang around and associate yourself with those who add value to your life. Value,
[00:13:22] value, you guys, okay. Quality over quantity, quality over quantity. People usually believe in us more than we believe in ourselves and we need to see ourselves through their eyes and not through the eyes of self-doubt.
[00:13:41] I can tell you a story where I have a circle of friends and you know you have those friends. You don’t have to talk to them every single day or every month but you pick up the phone you pick up just like it was yesterday. But I have friends in my corner to where whenever I’m feeling like I can’t do it. They’re there to remind me of. Yes, I can. Here’s why. And this is what I need for you to do. I so grateful so very grateful to these friends because every time I feel it I can’t do something or I’m starting to doubt the process they give me the reasons why I better be doing it. They give me the reason why. Why not. Like nobody else is doing this a while. And you want to do it. So they push me they push me to be better. They pour into me and you really need to have someone in your camp your circle your tribe is going to pour into you now.
[00:14:34] This was tough but you have to stay away from complainers.
[00:14:38] The negative nancies and there are a lot of them out there.
[00:14:43] Stay away from negative nancy stay away from the complainers stay away from people who cannot handle other people’s successes. Stay away from them because if they can’t handle other people’s successes and they call themselves your friend and associate partner whatever they are not going to be able to handle your success. And let me tell you-you’re on the verge of being successful. So we don’t need them in our corners. You don’t need them in the in your corner and I want you to start accepting your flaws start accepting yourself who you are. You know just stay authentic to you and it’s not easy but you can do it. Having a strong support system is great but you have to learn also to be strong for yourself you need to accept yourself flaws and all. And remember that no one is perfect. Allowing yourself to learn through this journey we call life to learn to live in the moment and love every single moment of it.
[00:15:49] Number five who are studying you know if it’s your idea to be great and you want to be successful and you want to set these goals and you want to achieve them then who are you looking at to help inspire you to help motivate you. Do you have a mentor? Do you have someone you can talk to that’s going to feed into you? That’s going to bounce those ideas off. You know where you have a conversation you could figure things out when you have challenges they’re there for you. Who are you studying? Who are you looking to aspire to be like or who are you looking at that is impacting you in such a way that is making you want to step outside your comfort zone and try something different. Research is so important not only from a professional standpoint but from a personal standpoint as well. What do you feed yourself is what you become so if you desire to be great then learn from those at the top of their game learn from those were the top of the game or whatever industry that maybe you want to make sure that you’re doing that because that’s where you’re going to find success. That’s where you find that determination that push that you need to keep going number 6 is to get out of your own head. I need to live in my head for days like days and not really say a word to anybody about it. But your mind can be your best friend. Or it could be your greatest enemy. There’s also so much I mean there’s just so much to life you guys and you don’t want to be stuck mentally and emotionally. I don’t want that for you. So any time you see yourself dwelling on your doubts about limiting your beliefs I want you to get up and start moving start moving your body or your computer find something to focus on. It’s going to help get you energized reinspired and motivated. Do anything that’s going to get you to stop thinking. Take a break. Go for a walk whatever you need to do.
[00:17:46] So last but not least let’s discuss number 7. Number 7. Take care of yourself. I’ve said this on other episodes. Nothing is more important than taking care of yourself and can tell your whole story.
[00:18:04] I think I like telling a lot of stories about me because I don’t really share a lot about me personally but recently I fell into this trap of self-doubt. I was taking blogger photos or fashion style photos and I really wasn’t liking what I was seeing on the other side of the lens. I was like you know being to like the kind of let yourself go away and two kids later are not acceptable.
[00:18:29] I’m not saying that it is but I really let go of myself. I let go of taking care of myself taking care of myself goes further than getting your nails or hair done or getting a message which don’t get me wrong is totally awesome I love getting my nails although I don’t get my hair done anymore I love getting my nails done but tackling task and knocking those off their lives have been overwhelming. 2 You can really really make your day so set yourself a self-care day. Have a list of things that you want to get done and that you want to check off your list. You know because I know for me after I finish them. I’m like dang I got that done. I’m feeling productive now. Go and do something else. I don’t have to worry about it anymore. Whatever seems to be a mountain before you. God gave you an unlimited, unlimited amount of power and strength and it’s honestly left up to you to recognize it. Let’s stop looking at all the wrong things are all the what-ifs or you know maybe I’m not good enough. And let’s start focusing on what’s right and I’m telling you-you’re going to see just from doing that one thing. You had everything you needed all along. Learn from your mistakes and let’s keep pushing. Before I let you go I just want to give you just a little encouraging quote life either gives you a blessing or a lesson. That’s something to think about you guys so there’s no reason why we should be doubting ourselves. There’s no reason why we should let doubt sneak in and creep in and steal our joy. We have been equipped with everything we need.
[00:20:10] We just have to trust it. Trust your gut. Stop thinking too hard. Let go of fear. Be great because greatness is a process. Stop telling your plans and ideas to everyone who is negative. And it’s not going to feed into your purpose. Steady who you want to be like. Do some research find out what they’re doing this work and that maybe could help you get out of your own head and take care of yourself.