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Podcast: EP 002: The One Social Group You Don’t Want To Be A Part Of

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Show Notes


Social Comparison

[00:00:51] First, before we get started on today’s show I want to give a big big thank you and virtual hugs to each and every one of you who have trusted me enough to download this podcast to listen to it. For those of you guys who tuned in to the official launch episode of The Path Of Most Resistance thank you so much. I received so much love and support from so many people. On launch day,  I had so many DM’s text messages coming through just saying congratulations.

Now we’re going to get into today’s show, and today’s show is, The One Social Group You Don’t Want To Be A Part Of. I know you think there’s probably many of those groups you probably don’t want to be a part of but this social group, in particular, is just a name that I kind of came up with.  In the ever-evolving world of social media, it is really hard not to fall into the comparison trap sometimes.  For example, when I open up my Instagram application I’m constantly reminded that everyone is different, but more importantly how different I am in comparison to everyone else.

I really want to focus on a discussion around the social comparators. Those people including myself, that look at social media painting all these pretty pictures and give you all the warm and fuzzies.

It is not realistic.

[00:02:55] For me, I found myself falling into that trap of looking at their situations by looking at what they have what they have accomplished. I found myself and second-guessing what I’m doing. Always second guessing. I’ll never be good enough to do that. I’ll never get to the point where I’m comfortable doing that. Just so many different variations of comparison. So, for me, it always seems like I’m always 10 steps behind everyone else.

You can’t appreciate your own accomplishments because you’re secretly wanting to be like everyone else.

[00:05:16]  For example, I look at my career being a pharmaceutical sales rep, not to say that I haven’t overcome many challenges, but on the outside looking in, people will come up to me and they’ll say, you’ve worked your way up.

You’ve moved from Mississippi to North Carolina from North Carolina to Louisiana and now from Louisiana to Florida, and you’re doing really good. So to everyone else, they’re thinking that I’ve made it.

[00:06:05] Honestly, I still feel inadequate to some extent because I’m always comparing myself to other people.  Like I said, this is not the group that I want to be a part of. This is not where I need to be at all. I really have to step back and break that cycle of feeling and unaccomplished.

[00:06:29] The only thing that really matters in the big picture, is what matters to me, and focusing on me. For those of you reading this, it is so important to focus on you what you’re creating, how you’re creating it and being passionate about it. But most importantly, owning it.

[00:08:10] The Internet can be a very dangerous place if we allow it to be.  Today, I am going to give you three reasons why you should stop comparing yourself to others. Most importantly, why you should not be a part of the social comparator group. Number one…

[00:09:14] It is damaging to your sense of self. You are damaging your self by comparing yourself to others. I know most of you would agree with me when I say that comparison is the thief of joy.

[00:09:33] Research has shown that by comparing to others you start to foster those feelings of jealousy, low self-confidence, and depression, as well as the ability to trust others.

[00:09:58]  I know you have heard the term, community over competition.

How can we build a community when we’re always comparing ourselves to someone else.

[00:10:13] We’re always trying to keep up and do the same things as someone else. That is not what we were meant to do. We are meant to walk on our own path fulfill our own purpose and do it the way we know how to do it. If more of us did that very thing then we will be more of a community.

[00:11:00] Jealousy versus connection, jealousy versus connection. Competitiveness versus collaboration. Those are some things I really want you guys to think about especially when it comes to comparing yourself to what anybody else is doing.

[00:11:40] Moving on to number two, What you are comparing against, is nine times out of ten inaccurate information.

[00:12:31] When you see these pretty pictures on social media don’t always take it so seriously to think that you’re doing something wrong because you never know another person’s situation. And let’s face it, what people present to the outside world is usually an edited version of their reality.

[00:14:41] Number three, comparing yourself to others doesn’t actually help you accomplish your goals. It’s going to decrease that the motivation to get those goals knocked out that you have on your list. Instead, you need to dedicate your time and energy to your own values.

[00:16:26] Today I want you to ask yourself a few questions, and I want you to really think about these. The first one is, What kind of person do you want to be? Really think about it.  What kind of relationships do you want to have? But most importantly, What do you want people to remember about you?

[00:17:30] If I’m focused on those three questions alone,  I could careless with Susie Q or anybody else is doing it on their Instagram their Facebook their whatever.

If comparing is how you evaluate your worth, you will always be losing.

[00:17:55] There’s nothing wrong with being inspired by other people, but instead of trying to be as good as or better than others try to focus your energy on being the very best version of yourself. Just be you. So now the next time you catch yourself using someone else as a benchmark for your own worth, I want you to stop and remind yourself of how ineffective this strategy really is. Instead, I want you to redirect your energy and attention to your own goals and what is required to achieve them.

[00:18:32] And if you’re still worried about others, then you’re not focused on yourself. And I know this all too well because it used to be me.

Now, I like the way that I’m starting to create my content. It fits me, and if it’s what I like and I just need to go with that and trust my gut. Best of all, when you do that, there’s no need to copy anyone else. You have your own tools, your own information, and you are unique in every single way. Only you can shine and the way you can shine, and you have to trust that you are enough!

You are enough.

[00:19:44] If you keep looking back, you’ll miss what’s right in front of you. Stop comparing yourself to other people. You can go further if you focus on your own unique gifts rather than get stuck on what others do better than you. It’s time to stop comparing and start doing. I want you to give you a try.  Can you do that? Can you start giving you a try?

You don’t have to look to anyone for validation.

[00:20:49]  Comparing yourself to others will ruin you, and you don’t want your dreams to end before they even get started.

[00:21:02]  If you have not done so already, please do me a huge favor and download and subscribe to the podcast. I would love to know your thoughts on today’s show. Put them down in the comments section below. I want to be able to feature some of the reviews and comments.

[00:21:38] Love the show? share it with a friend! Because Teamwork makes the dream work.

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About the Podcast

This show focuses on the professional and personal development of women to help discover their POWER AND PURPOSE. 

This show is for anyone who wants to gain knowledge about business, social media marketing, or real-life struggles. We frequently get wrapped up in our day-to-day challenges - whether it be work, family or otherwise - and we lose sight of what's important.

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